Living with autism: The Wishaw family who can't celebrate Christmas

Dec 21 2011 by Euan McLelland, Wishaw Press

THIS Saturday evening, children across the world will dream of Santa Claus clambering down their chimney and leaving behind all the presents they have been wishing for.

However, for three-year-old Isaac Gwynne from Wishaw, the sight of a living room packed with brightly coloured gifts would be nothing short of a nightmare.

Any alteration to the autistic toddler’s daily routine or surroundings causes him to panic, scream and feel great distress. A Christmas tree, decorations – even new gifts and toys – are all huge changes to the norm as far as Issac is concerned and his condition means that the festive period can be a traumatic time of the year.

So Christmas in the Gwynne home for mum Miriam, dad Nigel and Isaac’s twin sister, Naomi, will go largely unnoticed.

“Christmas day will just be a normal day,” Miriam told the Wishaw Press.

“It will be the same routine as every other weekend. Isaac will get dressed, eat the same breakfast and play with the same toys he plays with every day.

“He’ll look at the book he likes and play with the shopping trolley he likes. It will be nothing different from any other day.”

There are three parts to Isaac’s autism. The first is noticing change, the second is wanting to experience the change through every individual sense – whether it be touch, taste or sound – and the third is how overwhelming these changes are to him.

“If I was to put a Christmas tree up, Isaac would freak out because he doesn’t want anything changing in his house at all,” revealed Miriam.

“He also has sensory problems, so he doesn’t sense things the way most people do.

“Where we’d be happy to just look at a Christmas tree, Isaac would want to put it in his mouth, put it against his ear in case it makes a noise. He would want to taste it, he’d want to feel it, so it wouldn’t be safe.

“Not only that, but he would become distressed with the tree being in the room. If we put it up on the table, he would think: ‘That’s not meant to be there’, so he would knock it over and put back what he thinks should be there.

“He can’t understand why you would move anything like that.

“The Christmas lights are the same. While we could just enjoy looking at them and go on and do something else, they would really distract Isaac.

“He would sit and look at them constantly because his eyes are drawn to them and he’s so overwhelmed by it. Either that or he would start screaming.

“Something like a Christmas tree is a huge sensory overload for Isaac. You’ve got the tree itself, then you’ve got bobbles on it, lights, tinsel, chocolates – you’re overwhelming his senses all at once and he just can’t take it in.”

This also brings problems when it comes to exchanging gifts, according to dad Nigel: “If we were to bring in a load of presents, he would chuck them away. He’d throw them out the room and shut the door because, as far as he’s concerned, they shouldn’t be there.”

Miriam added: “If we wanted to buy Isaac a new toy for his Christmas, then we couldn’t give it to him in its packaging.

“If he saw a toy in a box, he would think that that’s where that toy belongs and should always be. He doesn’t understand that the toy comes out of there and he plays with it. If you took it out the box and gave him it, he would put it straight back in the box because that’s where it supposed to be, according to him.

“What we have to do is give him toys out of their packaging so he’s only ever seen it as a toy. Then we very gradually introduce it into his collection of toys, which can take months, because – again – it’s something new.

“We’ve bought him a few things for Christmas. If we manage to give him even one, then we’ll be doing well.”

Now that the twins are three years old, Naomi is beginning to understand the significance of Christmas.

Miriam said: “Now that this is her first Christmas at nursery, Naomi’s started to realise that trees are up and people are celebrating Christmas, she’s understanding it. I just hope next year we can manage to get some decorations up so she can enjoy it properly. At the moment, she knows it’s all too much for Isaac.

“What we’ll do for Naomi is delay her nap a wee bit and let Isaac go for his nap, then keep her up and give her all her presents. We’ve now separated their rooms, which means Naomi can get new things without Isaac not wanting them there.

“It is heartbreaking that we don’t get to see their wee faces when they’re opening their toys and you don’t get to take them to see Santa. You’re not going to get that whole idea of the perfect Christmas day.

“I do find that quite sad when I think about it, but I just try not to. But it is only one day of the year, after all.”